Why do Lesbians use dildo/strap ons?

Toys … aren’t necessary but sometimes they come handy.

This is perhaps probably the most notorious question asked by men ALL the time, but with less tact, and more ignorance; such as “if you use a dildo/strap on, that must mean you like men too”, “I don’t understand why a lesbian would like to have another women use a strap on her when she can have the real thing”, “you aren’t a real lesbian if you use a dildo or strap on”, “women who wear strap ons, want to be like men”, “what’s the difference between using a dildo and having a man’s p**** inside you”, and the list goes on and on. If you have ever been a victim to these questions and/or comments, then you know how annoying it must be to have to explain your sexual pleasures — and if you are like me, you ignore the question, have a sarcastic way of answering or tell them to mind their damn business. All of which are acceptable replies. 

What bothers me with this question is, it all stems back to we might as well date men if we enjoy the toys that replica a man’s genital region — which is a load of crap; so I am going to clear the air and give you the answer to your question once and for all & mind you everyone is a individual so reasons will differ person to person. 

  1. No matter if we use a dildo/ or have a strap on used on us, we are still women who like women & that means those toys are being used on us by women. 
  2. Many women do not equate dildos and straps on as a male counterpart — it disgust them, they only look at it as a form of sexual pleasure. Nothing more. 
  3. Being a lesbian has nothing to do with the kind of toys we engage with. 
  4. penetration doesn’t have to come from a male in order to be pleasurable — hints why we date women and have sexual relations with women. The pleasure comes from the fact that we are sharing ourselves with someone we are attracted to, which so happens to be a woman.
  5. Not all lesbians use dildos/strap ons — nor like any form of penetration.
  6. Toys can spice up a relationship and someone’s bedroom performance, it has nothing to do with the part itself but the enjoyment one gets from using it on themselves or another female.
  7. The best part of using a dildo and/or having a strap on used on us, we don’t have to have sex with a male figure to get off, we can get the same satisfaction — if not more from using the toys — which also means we don’t have to look a man, sleep with a man, don’t have to put a male’s genitals inside our vag — all of that is avoided by using toys
  8. Lesbians love women, why would we want to date a man? we don’t, so get off your high horse. 
  9. Women who wear strap ons don’t want to be men, they want to be dominant at that particular time, something about being dominant can be a turn on for some women. 
  10. Women who wear strap ons don’t want to be men, they are simply trying to please their partner in a way that suffices for the both of them, they are still women no matter what. 
  11. Even the most feminine of women wear straps on sometimes, it isn’t just a butch lesbian thing. 
  12. There is no man in the relationship when it comes to a lesbian relationship; it is simply two women dating. 

Final Note: We use toys because we want to, it either makes us feel good, stimulates our bodies, brings fire in the sheets, or simply is our choice in how we please ourselves but in NO way, shape or form, do we equate dildos/straps on as a male counterpart when we use them (we are not fantasizing about a man being inside us, sorry). Not Sorry.

For the lesbians who don’t use these particular toys, they don’t use them because in their mind they equate it with being a male counterpart, because of the shape or don’t like penetration at all — and that’s fine too. As said before, every woman is an individual with her own needs and likes. 

Personally, I am not huge on using toys, so for me, I don’t particularly love penetration so using a dildo or having a female use a strap on, on me, would not be as pleasurable as other means. Having to use these toys on other females, makes me empowered because I am doing to them they enjoy 🙂 nothing more guys, so men here is a thought: STOP assuming we use toys in loving memory of wanting to date a man, STOP ASSUMING that women who wear strap ons want to be men, and STOP ASSUMING that just because we use toys that are formed in a such a way that makes you think we want your p**** that it means we are straight because all of the above is false. 

Just an FYI, we don’t like having to answer this question. 

Shay-lon 

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