Long time and no talk, sorry I have been away from this blog for 10 days — focusing my attention on my fitness/health blog these past couple of weeks. I made it deal to post on this site Tuesday & Thursday but since my IG account was hacked a couple of days ago, my main focus has been trying to figure out how to recover my page if possible and if not, how will I start over after putting so much time into the first account — then having to possibly start over my FB page for my business as well because of it being linked to the IG account that was been hacked Anyways, with that being said, I have a fun topic that many of you might consider helpful! Today’s topic will be on online dating sites for lesbians & LGBTQ community. Now I haven’t used them all, but I have a reasonable amount & currently use multiple platforms, some where I’ve had more luck than others, all of the reviews will be based from my own experience, so don’t allow it to keep you from giving them a go, because you might have a better experience than myself.
When it comes to online dating, it seems to be a popular form of meeting people, whether to meet people within your community or outside of the box in which you reside in. Many times people use it because they have busy schedules where it makes it close to impossible to meet people. I started online dating, well probably when I was in my early twenties, but my first girlfriend at 18 was from Facebook (she was a friend of a friend and we happened to have a conversation on a Facebook post & it took off from there) and then as I got more involved with social media, I seen where you could sign up for dating sites & since then, I have been using them. Now online dating does have its risk and everyone should be careful to read over the sites terms & conditions, to be mindful of what you post & be cautious of the people you talk to because not everyone is who they say they are, remember people can hide behind fake pictures online, so don’t trust everyone you speak to. Before heading into the sites & reviews I am going to go over some warnings and cautions so that for any newcomers, you are well versed in the possibilities of online dating.
I have taken HUGE risk, I mean huge, some that could have gotten me killed, or lost or perhaps kidnapped, etc in the name of online dating and choosing to meet the person behind the screen & the locations in which I have traveled. I’ll be the first to admit, I have traveled to various states (no more than 4 hours away) to meet people who I didn’t know, at locations I have never visited BY MYSELF & it was very risky and I am very blessed I have always had good company and decent people that I have ended up dating & I don’t take that for granted because in the world we live in, things happen everyday and you never know people’s real intentions until it is too late. When I say heed to my warnings/cautions, I mean it because it is important you don’t follow my lead in taking risky journeys that could get you killed. In all honestly, I have been more cautious of meeting people than I was in the earlier stages, now I am more weary and more observant of the conversations I am having with the person, their pictures, their location, their phone numbers if we exchange numbers & I am more likely to want to meet half way someplace during the daylight hours in public vs their home or work, my home or work, etc. I am not perfect so things can go unnoticed but I try to keep my senses in check and use common sense in situations.
- we are attracted to people physically and sometimes that’s the downfall, we end up talking to someone whom we believe is attractive based on their online profile pictures but what we don’t realize is PEOPLE CAN STEAL OTHER PEOPLE’S PHOTOS AND USE THEM TO THEIR ADVANTAGE. Ever heard of the show “catfish”. it basically proves a point that some people use other people’s photos to conceal who they really are and make you believe they are someone they are not. The problem is, you end up liking this person and eventually want to meet in person, but the person sets up plans of meeting you and either doesn’t show up or they postpone meeting you, or they come up with various excuses as to why they can’t meet in person, they don’t share their social media pages or deny having a Facebook, Snapchat, skype, etc. It’s their way of avoiding meeting you or proving themselves to be real because they know they aren’t who the pictures depict and to avoid being caught or having you be upset, they walk you in circles in hopes they keep your attention but make it completely impossible for you to meet them in the long run.
- Not everyone online has the same relationship goals as you, people use it for hook ups, threesomes, long term, short term, sexual favors, etc. so don’t assume that everyone online is ready to settle down & make the most of life with you. Don’t judge their choice, but if it doesn’t meet your needs, be upfront or ignore them. Don’t try to sway people because it’s not worth it — trust me, I have tried.
- No online site is safer than the other, they all run risk of you being hacked, bots, inappropriate messages and unfriendly people. The world is a scary place and the online world can be too.
- Don’t surrender your personal information so fast — allow time between exchanging numbers, addresses, stuff that is personal because like I have mentioned, you don’t know people’s intentions but use your common sense when sharing personal information.
- If you are traveling to a different state, new city — be sure to meet someplace public, possibly a weapon of protection in case things go south and pay attention to the area in which you travel; does it seem safe? does it make sense to meet at this location? do you feel comfortable? We will have nerves from meeting someone new, but pay attention to how your body responds to certain things besides the butterfly effect from love, lol.
- Use your bio positively, your bio should be about you but doesn’t have to be in full detail about every aspect of your life, just highlight what is important about you and make the rest a conversational piece when they message you.
- Smart thing to do is always find out before meeting them if they are who they say they are by exchanging a means of viewing an updated picture or video of them — snapchat works wonders many times, as well as Facetime and Skype.
- Pay attention to phone number area codes, does it match where they reside, if not, ask questions, you never know
- Talk to the person for awhile before deciding to meet on a whim, because you need to get an idea of what this person is looking for and their motives
- If you can’t meet in public, then don’t meet at all, meeting in public areas where others will be around is safest and most common sense. I have met at hotel rooms, their houses, my house, parking lots, etc. So I have been there done it, don’t do as I have done, do as I say: MEET IN A PUBLIC SPACE.
Now of course there are other rules you will need to follow and perhaps will find out the many aspects of online dating, but the ones listed, I find most important & most neglected.
Now time to talk websites & apps:
- POF (plenty of fish) A free website/app that allows people to message, favorite profiles and use a meet me feature so that the other person knows you have interest in meeting them. You can set the settings on how far or close the distance has to be, you can choose attributes that you want out of a partner by filtering, you can create a bio, upload up to 8 photos (I think) and it’s all FREE! I have dated maybe 3 people from this site, 2 having been serious relationships and all 3 being long distance within 4 hours drive. I have also had many times where I would get weird messages from users, I would get plenty of interest in my profile from people whom I wasn’t interested in, I would talk to someone for a couple of days and then next thing you know, their profile is non-existent. I have had one issue where I was supposed to meet someone for lunch and they ended up ghosting me. Many profiles have one photo –which I consider a red flag, and when they don’t have their bio filled out, another red flag to me. The site is good for starters, but pretty soon you might find yourself consumed with messages from couples wanting a third, or having to sift through the real and fake profiles — while I have had my luck, it has been small doses. 1 out of 10, I would rate this site a 5. It’s not my favorite but I have used it for many years (still use it sometimes) but I don’t love the platform, I do however love that it is a free service. I prefer the app over the website (desktop)
- Okcupid – I no longer have an account ( I shut it down) due to not much luck from the site. It had free features where you could message people, create a bio, upload photo, search within a certain radius. The platform was clean and easy to use and understand, but I just found in my area I had hardly any luck. I happened to meet one girl from that site and she was decent but things didn’t workout. The site allows for all people in the LGBTQ community to be apart of. It has questions they ask you and base it on how compatible you are with the person you have interest in, kind of unique. I haven’t used it in over 5 years, so I can’t tell you of any new updates it might have added, but I can tell you, that it is another good starter site for anyone interested in online dating. 1 out of 10, I would have rated this site a possible 5.5-6 The best part was I didn’t get any bots or odd messages from creeps.
- HER – this is an app for specifically women in the LGBTQ community. The app is somewhat newer but the interface is lagging and it has bugs many times. Not to mention i found myself more annoyed when I would stumble on the same profiles I denied interest in, it was recycling itself pretty much the same people. The game is you swipe through profiles based on pictures and possibly if they did a bio, when you like it, they have to return the favor in order to message them. It is free to use, but many features that could enhance it to your advantage cost you money in order to do so. You only have a certain amount of swipes before they run out and you have to wait for them to become available again (it takes awhile). I have met two people from the site, one whom I become really close friends with and hung out with and another whom was weird and I never want to meet again. LOL 1 out of 10, I would give it a 5.5-6 as of now because of the bugs and lagging
- Tinder- I currently still use tinder, but I have found it to be quite an experience. I have had more matches with men (in looking for friends) than I have women (in looking for relationships or friends) and the women I have matched with, they only have responded for the first hour and I never hear of them again. You can link your spotify account and Instagram account and at one point you had to have a Facebook account in order to use Tinder, I don’t know if it is still this way or not. Also, I found many times couples are on Tinder looking for a third (another woman) for sexual favors.
- Clover – Only used it for a 2-3 weeks before deleting it, I didn’t use it enough to give a review
- Hinge – Only used it for a week, so didn’t explore it to give a review
- Match.com I have only used it once and didn’t keep it around long, I figure it is better suited hetero couples than gay couples from experience and stories but that’s opinion. In order to message someone/chat you have to pay for the service unless they run their deals where you can do it for free for a certain amount of days before having to pay.
- Bumble – The basis of this website is so that women have to make the first move when it comes to chatting with men if they match, so since I am a female looking for other females this doesn’t pertain to me, then they just base it on who swiped who first and if the other person swipes to match them, I think it leaves it up to them or myself to message them first. I am currently using this app and so far I have enjoyed it. It offers something for everyone, you can choose to “bumble date” , “bumble bff” (make friends) or bumble network (work, networking, etc) so it is has a lot to offer and I enjoy the interface, it is easy to use and create profiles and I have had a good amount of matches with other women. I have yet to meet anyone on the site in person but currently have exchanged numbers with at least 4. It helps that if you decide you are no longer interested or find the person to be a creep, you can unmatch them or block them like the previous websites. This is also another one of those swiping sites based on looks but the bio is nice because it leaves enough room to talk about yourself and interest and you can link your Instagram account to it. There have been questionable profiles in which I don’t swipe and I have had a few instances where it shows men as options for swiping even though my settings are on women only,. I do however enjoy the site because it’s easy to use and seems to be working out little by little. 1 out of 10 , I would give this app a 7.5 because it is better than other apps I have used but I haven’t fully utilized all the functions to get the best results, and with the few men showing up, I find it somewhat weird and annoying lol.
- MeetMe app I have used it but don’t remember much of it to give a review.
So from this list, I believe there are a few that offer an experience worth trying and if there are other apps you have tried, let me know in the comments. Have you had luck on any of these sites, any bad experiences? share them with me, and be sure to like and follow!