Sleeping with an Ex

Yes, this is definitely a thing. 

It’s funny to think about, because most people have sworn off communication with their exes, or bash them enough to where we assume the person was a piece of crap [shit] but even those same people are human and temptation happens to the best of us. Regardless of how things ended with you & your girlfriend, sleeping with her after breaking up doesn’t guarantee you a seat in her future nor guarantee you another chance — it simply is saying, I want to have sexual relations with you [but maybe I am hoping we end up getting back together as a couple]. This hope you have for starting over, is what will kill you the most when it doesn’t turn out in your favor.. this hope will break your heart the most when you hold on to someone who only wants a temporary piece of you. Doesn’t mean.. the possibility of getting back together could never happen.. BUT .. understand that sex doesn’t hold a relationship in place, it is only a feature within a relationship. 


If having sex with your ex brings you regret… 


Don’t go through with it, you have a right to tell the person that you no longer have interest in entertaining them sexually because of how it effects you & your well-being; you need to protect yourself from further hurt. We tend to cling to things that we love & once had a connection with; which is why it becomes easy for us to open up sexually to our ex [ because once upon a time, we loved this person deeply] & we have yet to move on emotionally, so we want to keep them close however we are able to..unfortunately it doesn’t always mend our hearts. I won’t tell you that regret will happen the first time it happens, but I can tell you; it will creep up on you when you least expect it & when you realize the person isn’t your girlfriend & you are only a good fuck until they find someone new [ just remind yourself that once they finally move on with someone new, the sex will come to a stop & you will be forced to move on; on your own].


Me & the ex broke up on good terms… 


THIS! this right here is not an excuse to have sex with your ex. Breaking up on good terms is awesome, makes things a whole lot easier, but has NOTHING TO DO with sexual relations with your partner — just means you both were able to walk away without negative feelings towards each other. It’s not guaranteed that when the sex stops when they move on, that it won’t effect you. Maybe this person wasn’t relationship material but better off as a friends with benefits or companion; after a while, they may decide to venture out and date again & at some point want a relationship with someone new, will this bother you when they stop contributing to your desires? will it bother you when their time is spent with someone new instead of you? will this bother you because you were maybe hoping the fun would go on until you found someone first? I don’t know, but it’s still a possibility that it might effect you because you have feelings & had a connection with someone you loved at some point. Breaking up on good terms doesn’t grant you a reason to continue sexual relations with your ex — as a matter of fact, I will go as far to say having sex with someone after the break up usually is a good sign you aren’t over them completely. Why continue having sex with someone after a break up if you are free to have sex with anyone else, but you managed to choose your ex. Just sayin. You can break up on good terms with your ex, be friends without having sex with her. 


If you don’t want to get hurt, don’t put yourself in situations that will.. 


When me and my ex broke up, she had me pick her up from a house party 2 hours away at 11pm at night [[ didn’t arrive until 2AM]] because of traffic & take her back to my house for us to lay in the same bed — awkward because we are broken up & because I wanted her back/ I still loved her and was in pain. Easily could have tried to put a move on her, but didn’t because I wasn’t sure it would make me feel any better if still ended up with us not together. She was shocked, and wanted to know why I didn’t cuddle or kiss her or have sex with her, & all I kept thinking is ‘how dare you expect me to, when it was only 2-3 days ago you dumped me and left me to pick myself up from the floor’. All I knew was, I was heart broken and having sex with her would have only worsened the pain at the time. 


Moral of the story, protect your heart & mind — 


Thanks for reading! 


Shay-lon 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s