To stay or to run away

Talking it out OR Running Away 

Choose wisely. This is the advice I’d give someone who is about to walk out of someone’s life or avoids having to talk about serious issues that arise within the relationship. Some of you assume that the woman is wrapped around your finger, so by leaving, it will make her upset enough to want to chase you & others of you rather take the easy way out and delete any contact with this person — to avoid them having to ask “why you left” in the first place. Sometimes I wonder which is worse, and then I realize neither one of the “solutions” has a happy ending because in both situations the person being left is the one who assumes blame for why you left in the first place; which in turn brings about some form of depression, anger, sadness & confusion. I assume if you are the person running away, that you don’t care how the other person handles it, because all that matters to you is getting out of the mix and hoping that the person eventually forgets or better yet the person chases you so that when it comes time for you to confront them; you reply with “It’s not you, it’s me” (That doesn’t mend a broken heart, btw). 

 

I know there comes a time where you are on the other end of the stick trying to make things work, where you have sat down and spoke with your partner over and over and over again; in hopes something would let up or they would change — so when you get sick of being sick and tired, you walk out, you give up, and you call it quits. Normally it’s not easy and the person tries to fight for another chance, but in the end, you have to do what’s best for you & I totally understand that. Regardless of the scenario, weighing your options of which would be a better outcome: “talking things out” or running away is what you have to do & in the end, you deal with the consequences and hope for the best. 

I wish both of my exes would have made the decision to talk to me instead of “running away” because in the end, I never got answers and I never really healed, I just dealt with it and tried my best to move on as best as I could in hopes I would eventually forget, but it  never was 100 percent, because in each of those relationships everything from the previous one led me toward –> assuming that the next person would leave the same way as the last. I don’t throw blame, because I realize I had issues that unraveled during my relationships but I do however know when something isn’t right & that something was when they cut me off as if it was no big deal — it came very easy to them. Running is always an option but you have to think to yourself, is it the option the person deserves? I don’t know, each relationship is different with different circumstances. 

 

I like to believe talking about things with your partner can lead to more opportunities of fixing what needs to be fixed or compromising if need be in order for both parties to be happy within the relationship but people are so quick to walk out because it means they don’t have to deal with it any longer. Well, I mean, while that might be true, think of it like this, was it something small or big that bothered you & why is it so hard for you to tell the person you are with if you like and/or love this person. If they mean something to you, why is it when things start to shake in the relationship — you find the nearest exit? Or why is it when you started to see red flags within the relationship; you waived them in hopes it would get better instead of leaving after having given many chances — you chose to endure more of their crap & later complain about it (by then, it’s too late because you have built up so much anger) if talking to the person didn’t get your point across and they continue to disrespect the relationship – leave. Basically what I am trying to say is, there are circumstances where leaving is okay, after you have talked with the person and continued to endure negativity. Then there are circumstances where leaving does more damage than it does good & that’s usually when you leave without talking to your partner & you assume that leaving will eliminate any further problems. The assumption is where you are most wrong, because you don’t know how it effected the other party if you leave and don’t look back. Relationships aren’t meant to be perfect people, if a mess up scares you enough for you to run away, then you aren’t ready for a relationship & if you aren’t confident enough to walk away when things don’t get better after talking — then you aren’t ready for a relationship either. People need to know their limits/boundaries when it comes to what they can tolerate – so when someone has pushed their boundaries, they are confident enough to let them know and find a solution or confident enough to walk out if need be; because the person they are dating didn’t respect them enough to come to an agreement. People need to start thinking about the other party and putting themselves in other people’s shoes when they decide to skip out, so that when they decide to make that decision — it doesn’t lead to someone else with the blame on their shoulders & not knowing (the person will be hurt, we know this, but make the pain a little easier to deal with by being honest with why you want to leave the relationship instead of leaving with no explanation as to why).

 

I am not a family counselor nor a therapist of any sorts, I am just a girl who happens to know what heart break feels like, happens to have learned a thing or two from my dating experience. I don’t have all the answers, and I can’t save everyone, but I can give advice and open your eyes to things that maybe you didn’t realize or you happened to choose to stay blind to. My blog doesn’t solve relationship issues, it just shares perspective. 

 

Thanks for reading, if you enjoyed this read — be sure to share, like, follow and leave a comment. 

 

Shay-lon

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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